Possibly the worst Birthday I have had.... WTH, man?!?

Date: 21st December 2008
Time: 0830 hrs
Situation: Critical
Chain of events: Disappointment, Misunderstanding (or at least perceived), Catastrophe, Destruction

How it all started:

About two weeks ago:

"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."

Status: Normal

About a week ago:

"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."

Status: Normal

Four days before:

"I'll be going out on my birthday. I'm sure yet. There are no plans made."
"Okay. Go ahead."

Status: Slightly Excited

18th December:

I'm getting a little excited to go out on my birthday. Still no plans made. Still keeping it free and easy. Still leaving it to, perhaps, the last minute and wishing to just get out and go free.

"Boy, it's time to practice for tomorrow's REAL Education Group's Christmas Caroling."
"Okay."

Went to REAL Corp, waited for everyone to waste my time while I just continued to goof around with my guitar. Practice was at 1700 hrs. started at about 1740 hrs. Hmm, way to go at punctuality. Oh well, certain things cannot be helped and neither can long winded trainings and seminars. But last i heard, training ended at 1715 hrs. How long does it take people to move up the stairs to go to the meeting point? Do the maths. It's just a flight of stairs.

That aside, we still started our practice. Our first and final practice, mind you. I'm well familiar with the songs since I've played them COUNTLESS times. But good ol' leader of the team prefers to rearrange the scores and put in his own version of the chords, making it sound ... erm ... how should I say ... perhaps a little unorthodox? Which is still fine considering change is, in a way, "fresh".

While practicing, I have not read the chords beforehand. And neither has the team leader provided a set for me to have a read. I guess it is just so, since it was impromptu. My playing was of course in accordance to how other people would normally play it using conventional chords. Team leader decided to stop and put blame onto guitarist for messy playing and making it sound "weird".

WOW. He decided to just stop the whole team practicing to point out that "I" was playing weird and that "I" made the whole team sound weird. Okay, sure. Maybe it is because I'm the ONLY musician there that he could start pissing me off embarassingly. Maybe it was because playing those chords would make the whole team sound weird because they were singing weird collectively in the first place. Weird? Yea ... perhaps it is me since I am the one who sticks out like a sore thumb. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and piss off the weird one. He's expandable anyway. Who needs a guitarist?

Status: Tension slightly built, but still on the excited side.

19th December:

Started off with work and pretty much worked till it was 1600 hrs. It was time for me to go next door for the Christmas gathering. Went there, training was still on. Okay, fair since the party was supposedly starting at 1630 hrs. I can wait. Party started, caroling done, all went kinda smooth.

Just a thought worth thinking about; did the people care when we played the carols with alternate arrangements? Honestly, I didn't see anyone give a bother over it. Chances are, they don't even know that it was on alternative chords.

BUT, that being said, all is done, all went "well", let it be.

Status: Normal. For some reason, the enthusiasm to go out has somewhat died down.

20th December:

My, my. I believe this is when the story gets interesting. 0005 hrs, I received a call from Grace Tan asking me to look out of my window. Saw her and the Choy sisters holding a cake with candles lit up. Wow, a surprise visit! Suddenly, I felt a little hyped up! Some people actually cared! Went out there, blew the candles and invited them in. The family's asleep, so we decided that it was best to keep noise level at a minimum. We adjourned into the kitchen and had the door closed. I was still in a state of shock mixed with happy and in that time, I guess the mood of the situation was good. The girls were laughing and cheering away while I was still stoning.

Suddenly, our cheerfulness mix stoning was cut off abruptly when the sister decided to storm in and distastefully told Ally off with regards to an sms conversation prior to the surprise visit. I am not sure and neither do I care who was at fault, I just believe it takes two hands to clap and if I am not one of the hands, the "telling off" could have waited for another time. After that untimely (stupidly untimely) incident, the mood of the party was of course disturbed. I was still stone but I was sober enough to know that the awkward situation required some saving.

The mood returned back to cheerfulness but you can't help but to notice that it wasn't as before. It's like a pool of stagnant water. All calm and unmoving. You could even see that the dust settled on the surface is not moving. Then suddenly, a stiring stick comes in and swirls it into a vortex. after the stick is taken out, the vortex slowly dies down and the water becomes calm again. Once again, the pool of water looks calm and unmoving. But, should a speck of dust fall to the surface again, you can see that it moves in the direction of the vortex due to slight under current.

The party ended and everyone returned to sleep. The same morning, I woke up to have chores greeted in front of my face. I still had to wash the cups, fill up the bottles of water and refill the standby jugs of water. The only difference is that the "sister's" dog is taken care of. Normally, that would be my duty as well. Ironic isn't it? How it is "her" dog but "I" have to care for it while she sleeps in until it is time for her to get ready for work. Yes, all of those, I have to do because some people care shit for responsibility.

Well, it was still bearable. It is, after all, my job regardless of whether it was my birthday. Chores will be chores and people oblivious to their phillial piety, dwelling in their own selfish nature will be as what I have labeled them to be. I was in the midst of planning what I should be doing and where I should go when all of a sudden, the mother required some chauferring. Wouldn't be that bad if It was at say 0800 hrs or 0900 hrs, but it had to be 1015 hrs and requires chaufering back from the place at 1100 hrs. Well then, looks like my plans for the day is done for. I agreed that I would stay home in the evening for the sister's dog while the rest of the family went to visit a cousin of mine. I will accept responsibility for that. In fact, I was willing to do it.

They were to leave at 1800hrs which meant that I would have to be back by 1700hrs. Assuming I wanted to go to One Utama, which would be the closest living shopping complex apart from Pyramid which I have more or less got bored of, I have to drive down and back which would take approximately an hour one way thanks to the weekend traffic. That meant that I would have to start driving back from One U at 1600 hrs. Now, lets say that after sending the mother home, I would take about an hour to get myself ready. 1115 hrs, I'm back, take an hour to wash up and prepare, 1215 hrs. Get myself out of the house, brace the traffic, reach One U at about 1315 hrs. That leaves me less than three hours to go around say, have lunch, look around the bookshops for interesting reads and whatnots. Come on! What can you possibly do with two hours and forty-five minutes? That's barely even enough time for me to browse through MPH to look for ONE good book!

So, what did I do? I spent my birthday miserably in front of the comp watching JDramas. Not like it's something I do not enjoy. I do. Just not on my birthday. I wanted to do something not routine. Something I would not do on any given weekend. To many (like the sister), visiting a shopping complex is not something they would consider as special. To me it was. Often have I turned down going out with friends just so that I would have a more prominent presence in the house as a son. Even then, I am labeled as "not home" since I stay in my room most of the time. Do I turn down tasks and chores when given or asked of me? I don't! Okay, sometimes, I do it with a sense of dissatisfactory, but nontheless, I still do it!

So, there goes my "EXCITING" birthday that I was planning not to plan and just have fun.

Status: Pissed, Pissed beyond being pissed, Pissed to the point where I do not know how feeling pissed is like.

21st December:

I was thinking yesterday, that maybe after church today, I could make up for lost time yesterday. I could still get myself over to a place with a big bookstore and browse through some interesting titles. So, I consoled myself.... BUT ... yesterday night, after coming back from the cousin's place, the father asked if I could stay home for the "sister's" dog again from 1500 - 1800 hrs.

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Way to go on sensitivity. Looks like another day of ruined unplanned plans.

Morning greeted me with chores written all over. This time, the "sister's" dog is in my care again. Only difference is that he is fed already. Combing, giving him a treat and all is still my job. After stressing over chores, I decided to shower and get ready for church. After shower, the mother decided to ask a stupid question. After knowing that I would stay home for that damned "sister's" dog, she asked if I was going out today. WOW. Way to go at stating the obvious. What was I to answer? I was already up to my neck, supposedly trying to tame the tongue. I'm only human. We can only tolerate up to a certain level. I answered, "I can go out, meh?"

Talk about defensive instincts! The mother straightaway flared up and talked about things that have nothing to do with the conversation at all on how loyal and dutiful she is and even commenting on how I was not fit to lead bible study. Where's the link? I'm having trouble finding that out as well. I was so angry, I could not see myself to go to church in such a state. The mother continued her jabbering and pulled in the trick of ALL mothers stating the efforts of raising a 25 year old son is going down to waste. Then, the father decided that I was not in a position to vent out my frustrations because I was the young one. WOW. That was another hard blow on me. Did he mean that the youngest in the family will never be given the chance to voice out? Are we the ones who are doomed to only be in the receiving end of shit? Are we not human?

Status: Pissed with disappointment and failure to get my story accross since I was cut off while trying to explain.





I do not ask a lot. In fact, I try not to ask for anything. But why am I generalised and put in the same category as the sibling? I prefer to work with what I have. I was trained to be like that. I only ask for some sensitivity towards my side of the story.

I can accept it if people say they forgot what I told them despite countless reminders leading towards the date of request. But isn't it logical that perhaps people want some time to themselves on their "special" day and not be bogged down by chores? A ride to a place may seem like a simple request but the timing is what matters. The beauty of it is that since my car was the only one available, it left me no choice, didn't it? So, do not give the crap about getting the father to fetch you there was a possibility. Fact was that it was not possible. BUT ... frustrated as I was, I still did it, didn't I? Not with the best attitude any son can offer, but I still did it, didn't I?

Perhaps, next time when we ask something from someone, we should first think of the possible unseen obstacles to it. It just takes a little bit of sensitivity and a whole truckload of common sense. At the end of it all, I guess what I am trying to say is that:

Don't piss off the wrong person....