Funny isn't it? ... or is it not?

Just the other day, I was faced with many questions in my mind ... work, family, BB, friends, interests, etc. It's kind of scary to look at each and every one of those things and thinking what my life goals are. It is not because I do not have answers to each, instead, it is because I have answers which freaked me out! Let's go through it....

Work

I'm currently a part-time Marketing Executive for a music school and at the same time, a part-time lecturer in an art college teaching history of art. My final destination is to be a full-time lecturer in the current art college I am in. Hopefully, once I am settled in, I can utilize my resources and prepare a proposal for a thesis I would like to have published to either earn a Masters of Fine Arts or a PhD if I can manage to push it through. Pretty much an academician at the end, not minding a wage that could sustain me and my interests. I'm not after luxury as how the common world would want or at least dream of it. I prefer to live simple by common standards and take life by the very raw essence of spur, be it right or wrong. Of course, if it is wrong, there must be something to learn from it and not to force and insist in what seems to be an unreasonable justification of pride.

Family

I am a grandson, son, brother, nephew and cousin. I have many ties to fulfill in my filial duties but I am not one who takes it to the next level. I am most loyal only to my grandmother, immediate family members and the second aunt from my mother's side whom we (my sis and I) have come to call her "aunty-mother" since young. A godmother if you will. I will acknowledge the rest if they are around, but I do not make it an effort to visit them on a regular basis; well then again, who does? My principle is simple: Why should I do it, if they don't? Cold as I may sound, I am not one who does not recognize a good deed. I speak of appreciation with high regards because I know what it is like to be unappreciated.

BB

I am an officer who has worked my way up since the start of the company, from recruit, to Primer and currently, a Warrant Officer. I take charge of the company ensemble, and teach certain badge classes. Ranks do not matter much to me as I see it only as a tool for discipline only when it is needed to be enforced. Perhaps being too friendly in approach towards members have earned me the title as an easy-going officer who cares nothing for discipline. No, I do take discipline very seriously. I play hard, but I also expect and demand hard. I have low tolerance for inefficiency when it comes to getting things done and get very pissed off when people take me lightly. If members get pissed off with me so easily, it is not my loss. Chances are, they will meet with others far worse than me. If you can't take me, you will most likely not survive in the corporate world. I'm not cocky, I'm stating facts.

Friends

I have many friends, but there are but a handful who are actually close to me and know me for who I am. I recently did a test on my personality and had a professional interpret my test results. He said (and I quote), "You like to make friends although you have very little need for them." Am I really that independent? Or am I just prone to pissing people off that even if they end up avoiding me, I can still find a way to live on? How long can I live alone?

Interests

Quite simply, visual arts, music, military administration and yo-yo. Really, there's not much I can tell about each.



I guess what I am really afraid of is that I am too familiar with what I want and what I need. So much so that I do not anticipate surprises. Everything has already "fall into place", if you may. How can it be so? I want to sometimes do something radical and unlike me, although not many people know my true self. Well, to rephrase, I'd like to surprise myself once in awhile. I wonder if that is possible? How can I surprise myself with something I am anticipating? Hmmm....