It is the 30th December of '08. I'm in my office having just completed another marketing material for Vibrante. I'm working full day today so, I'm practically stuck in the office until it hits 5 pm. Well, perhaps this time that I have gave me a reason to think about 2008 as a whole. Dang ... it sure was a bumpy one.
I guess I never really practiced what I've been preaching. Things about balancing out the ordinary miracles which happens in our day to day lives. Perhaps I was too focused on the hard hitters that directly punched me in the face. Hey, I'm just human after all. It's like telling a starving scrawny child to be grateful that he is still alive while I am chewing away a half stale hamburger. Surely, to me, a half stale hammie may very well end up in a bin for fear of it being rotten. But perhaps, to that kid, that stale meat sandwiched between two bread could be the very last meal he was ever going to eat on. Hmm ... point to ponder.
For starters, what I've learned from the past year is to NEVER make any resolutions. Chances are, it will (and it has) backfire on me. Take for instance, I vowed to lose weight. But instead of losing weight, I ended up losing TO weight. You can't really blame me though, I was in the land where potatoes and many other high-carbohydrate food were a staple diet. Yes, I am justifying myself and yes, it is because I am guilty. Which actually, brings me to another resolution not coming to reality. I vowed to not justify myself. Actually, I was doing quite well until just now when I decided to justify myself. Hmm ... am I just making it a point to go against my resolutions for the sake of proving a point? Are my points really that valid that it is worth contradicting my resolutions? Oh well, perhaps it may very well be. Sorry, I will not justify that statement. A little deep thought will give it reason enough.
It pretty hard to stand up to what I believe in sometimes especialy when there aren't many people who decides to think like me in the first place. And even if there were, chances are that the person will have a different interpretation to the stand. I cannot find myself agreeing to that matter of interest but neither can I totally deny it at times. It actually makes sense to a certain level sometimes.
Perhaps, sometimes it is the people around me which makes it hard to prove a point. Many people choose to concern themselves over things that do not concern them at all in the first place. Take an example, I've been single for quite some time now and honestly, it is starting to creep me out a little. What is to happen to my future? However, that is the least of my worries. What bothers me most is when I start to get a litle bit more intimate with a girl, meddlers will come in and tell me why it is not a good idea. Sometimes, it even goes to the point of becoming a matter of argument. Damn it! Shouldn't those meddlers become more concern over the fact that I've been single for too long to the point where others are asking about where my sexuality bends towards? POINT TO CLARIFY: I'M NOT GAY! And to top it off, their meddling could very well be a potential factor for me to lose a close friend. Wake up to the 21st century. Being close does not mean taking the plunge into the next level.
For awhile now, I've taken the effort to not want to know how being betrayed is like. Yet again, it arises and happened to me this year. It was worse than what I've felt previously. This time, I was alone with no physical comfort. It was painful. I was in a land I did not enjoy being in, I was sick, I was surrounded by people whom I perceived as friends. And when trouble came, no one came. I knew that if I were back in Malaysia, easily three to four people close enough to me will detect a certain amiss in me. I didn't even have to tell them. They'd ask me instead. Over there, I shared. But the difference was after that, I was left alone. In fact, I was not only left alone, I was distanced!
Oh well, let it be. It's the end of another year. I can only look forward to the new one.
I wonder what it's going to be like?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Possibly the worst Birthday I have had.... WTH, man?!?
Date: 21st December 2008
Time: 0830 hrs
Situation: Critical
Chain of events: Disappointment, Misunderstanding (or at least perceived), Catastrophe, Destruction
How it all started:
About two weeks ago:
"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."
Status: Normal
About a week ago:
"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."
Status: Normal
Four days before:
"I'll be going out on my birthday. I'm sure yet. There are no plans made."
"Okay. Go ahead."
Status: Slightly Excited
18th December:
I'm getting a little excited to go out on my birthday. Still no plans made. Still keeping it free and easy. Still leaving it to, perhaps, the last minute and wishing to just get out and go free.
"Boy, it's time to practice for tomorrow's REAL Education Group's Christmas Caroling."
"Okay."
Went to REAL Corp, waited for everyone to waste my time while I just continued to goof around with my guitar. Practice was at 1700 hrs. started at about 1740 hrs. Hmm, way to go at punctuality. Oh well, certain things cannot be helped and neither can long winded trainings and seminars. But last i heard, training ended at 1715 hrs. How long does it take people to move up the stairs to go to the meeting point? Do the maths. It's just a flight of stairs.
That aside, we still started our practice. Our first and final practice, mind you. I'm well familiar with the songs since I've played them COUNTLESS times. But good ol' leader of the team prefers to rearrange the scores and put in his own version of the chords, making it sound ... erm ... how should I say ... perhaps a little unorthodox? Which is still fine considering change is, in a way, "fresh".
While practicing, I have not read the chords beforehand. And neither has the team leader provided a set for me to have a read. I guess it is just so, since it was impromptu. My playing was of course in accordance to how other people would normally play it using conventional chords. Team leader decided to stop and put blame onto guitarist for messy playing and making it sound "weird".
WOW. He decided to just stop the whole team practicing to point out that "I" was playing weird and that "I" made the whole team sound weird. Okay, sure. Maybe it is because I'm the ONLY musician there that he could start pissing me off embarassingly. Maybe it was because playing those chords would make the whole team sound weird because they were singing weird collectively in the first place. Weird? Yea ... perhaps it is me since I am the one who sticks out like a sore thumb. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and piss off the weird one. He's expandable anyway. Who needs a guitarist?
Status: Tension slightly built, but still on the excited side.
19th December:
Started off with work and pretty much worked till it was 1600 hrs. It was time for me to go next door for the Christmas gathering. Went there, training was still on. Okay, fair since the party was supposedly starting at 1630 hrs. I can wait. Party started, caroling done, all went kinda smooth.
Just a thought worth thinking about; did the people care when we played the carols with alternate arrangements? Honestly, I didn't see anyone give a bother over it. Chances are, they don't even know that it was on alternative chords.
BUT, that being said, all is done, all went "well", let it be.
Status: Normal. For some reason, the enthusiasm to go out has somewhat died down.
20th December:
My, my. I believe this is when the story gets interesting. 0005 hrs, I received a call from Grace Tan asking me to look out of my window. Saw her and the Choy sisters holding a cake with candles lit up. Wow, a surprise visit! Suddenly, I felt a little hyped up! Some people actually cared! Went out there, blew the candles and invited them in. The family's asleep, so we decided that it was best to keep noise level at a minimum. We adjourned into the kitchen and had the door closed. I was still in a state of shock mixed with happy and in that time, I guess the mood of the situation was good. The girls were laughing and cheering away while I was still stoning.
Suddenly, our cheerfulness mix stoning was cut off abruptly when the sister decided to storm in and distastefully told Ally off with regards to an sms conversation prior to the surprise visit. I am not sure and neither do I care who was at fault, I just believe it takes two hands to clap and if I am not one of the hands, the "telling off" could have waited for another time. After that untimely (stupidly untimely) incident, the mood of the party was of course disturbed. I was still stone but I was sober enough to know that the awkward situation required some saving.
The mood returned back to cheerfulness but you can't help but to notice that it wasn't as before. It's like a pool of stagnant water. All calm and unmoving. You could even see that the dust settled on the surface is not moving. Then suddenly, a stiring stick comes in and swirls it into a vortex. after the stick is taken out, the vortex slowly dies down and the water becomes calm again. Once again, the pool of water looks calm and unmoving. But, should a speck of dust fall to the surface again, you can see that it moves in the direction of the vortex due to slight under current.
The party ended and everyone returned to sleep. The same morning, I woke up to have chores greeted in front of my face. I still had to wash the cups, fill up the bottles of water and refill the standby jugs of water. The only difference is that the "sister's" dog is taken care of. Normally, that would be my duty as well. Ironic isn't it? How it is "her" dog but "I" have to care for it while she sleeps in until it is time for her to get ready for work. Yes, all of those, I have to do because some people care shit for responsibility.
Well, it was still bearable. It is, after all, my job regardless of whether it was my birthday. Chores will be chores and people oblivious to their phillial piety, dwelling in their own selfish nature will be as what I have labeled them to be. I was in the midst of planning what I should be doing and where I should go when all of a sudden, the mother required some chauferring. Wouldn't be that bad if It was at say 0800 hrs or 0900 hrs, but it had to be 1015 hrs and requires chaufering back from the place at 1100 hrs. Well then, looks like my plans for the day is done for. I agreed that I would stay home in the evening for the sister's dog while the rest of the family went to visit a cousin of mine. I will accept responsibility for that. In fact, I was willing to do it.
They were to leave at 1800hrs which meant that I would have to be back by 1700hrs. Assuming I wanted to go to One Utama, which would be the closest living shopping complex apart from Pyramid which I have more or less got bored of, I have to drive down and back which would take approximately an hour one way thanks to the weekend traffic. That meant that I would have to start driving back from One U at 1600 hrs. Now, lets say that after sending the mother home, I would take about an hour to get myself ready. 1115 hrs, I'm back, take an hour to wash up and prepare, 1215 hrs. Get myself out of the house, brace the traffic, reach One U at about 1315 hrs. That leaves me less than three hours to go around say, have lunch, look around the bookshops for interesting reads and whatnots. Come on! What can you possibly do with two hours and forty-five minutes? That's barely even enough time for me to browse through MPH to look for ONE good book!
So, what did I do? I spent my birthday miserably in front of the comp watching JDramas. Not like it's something I do not enjoy. I do. Just not on my birthday. I wanted to do something not routine. Something I would not do on any given weekend. To many (like the sister), visiting a shopping complex is not something they would consider as special. To me it was. Often have I turned down going out with friends just so that I would have a more prominent presence in the house as a son. Even then, I am labeled as "not home" since I stay in my room most of the time. Do I turn down tasks and chores when given or asked of me? I don't! Okay, sometimes, I do it with a sense of dissatisfactory, but nontheless, I still do it!
So, there goes my "EXCITING" birthday that I was planning not to plan and just have fun.
Status: Pissed, Pissed beyond being pissed, Pissed to the point where I do not know how feeling pissed is like.
21st December:
I was thinking yesterday, that maybe after church today, I could make up for lost time yesterday. I could still get myself over to a place with a big bookstore and browse through some interesting titles. So, I consoled myself.... BUT ... yesterday night, after coming back from the cousin's place, the father asked if I could stay home for the "sister's" dog again from 1500 - 1800 hrs.
...
......
.........
.......................................
Way to go on sensitivity. Looks like another day of ruined unplanned plans.
Morning greeted me with chores written all over. This time, the "sister's" dog is in my care again. Only difference is that he is fed already. Combing, giving him a treat and all is still my job. After stressing over chores, I decided to shower and get ready for church. After shower, the mother decided to ask a stupid question. After knowing that I would stay home for that damned "sister's" dog, she asked if I was going out today. WOW. Way to go at stating the obvious. What was I to answer? I was already up to my neck, supposedly trying to tame the tongue. I'm only human. We can only tolerate up to a certain level. I answered, "I can go out, meh?"
Talk about defensive instincts! The mother straightaway flared up and talked about things that have nothing to do with the conversation at all on how loyal and dutiful she is and even commenting on how I was not fit to lead bible study. Where's the link? I'm having trouble finding that out as well. I was so angry, I could not see myself to go to church in such a state. The mother continued her jabbering and pulled in the trick of ALL mothers stating the efforts of raising a 25 year old son is going down to waste. Then, the father decided that I was not in a position to vent out my frustrations because I was the young one. WOW. That was another hard blow on me. Did he mean that the youngest in the family will never be given the chance to voice out? Are we the ones who are doomed to only be in the receiving end of shit? Are we not human?
Status: Pissed with disappointment and failure to get my story accross since I was cut off while trying to explain.
I do not ask a lot. In fact, I try not to ask for anything. But why am I generalised and put in the same category as the sibling? I prefer to work with what I have. I was trained to be like that. I only ask for some sensitivity towards my side of the story.
I can accept it if people say they forgot what I told them despite countless reminders leading towards the date of request. But isn't it logical that perhaps people want some time to themselves on their "special" day and not be bogged down by chores? A ride to a place may seem like a simple request but the timing is what matters. The beauty of it is that since my car was the only one available, it left me no choice, didn't it? So, do not give the crap about getting the father to fetch you there was a possibility. Fact was that it was not possible. BUT ... frustrated as I was, I still did it, didn't I? Not with the best attitude any son can offer, but I still did it, didn't I?
Perhaps, next time when we ask something from someone, we should first think of the possible unseen obstacles to it. It just takes a little bit of sensitivity and a whole truckload of common sense. At the end of it all, I guess what I am trying to say is that:
Don't piss off the wrong person....
Time: 0830 hrs
Situation: Critical
Chain of events: Disappointment, Misunderstanding (or at least perceived), Catastrophe, Destruction
How it all started:
About two weeks ago:
"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."
Status: Normal
About a week ago:
"I wanna go out on my birthday."
"Sure."
Status: Normal
Four days before:
"I'll be going out on my birthday. I'm sure yet. There are no plans made."
"Okay. Go ahead."
Status: Slightly Excited
18th December:
I'm getting a little excited to go out on my birthday. Still no plans made. Still keeping it free and easy. Still leaving it to, perhaps, the last minute and wishing to just get out and go free.
"Boy, it's time to practice for tomorrow's REAL Education Group's Christmas Caroling."
"Okay."
Went to REAL Corp, waited for everyone to waste my time while I just continued to goof around with my guitar. Practice was at 1700 hrs. started at about 1740 hrs. Hmm, way to go at punctuality. Oh well, certain things cannot be helped and neither can long winded trainings and seminars. But last i heard, training ended at 1715 hrs. How long does it take people to move up the stairs to go to the meeting point? Do the maths. It's just a flight of stairs.
That aside, we still started our practice. Our first and final practice, mind you. I'm well familiar with the songs since I've played them COUNTLESS times. But good ol' leader of the team prefers to rearrange the scores and put in his own version of the chords, making it sound ... erm ... how should I say ... perhaps a little unorthodox? Which is still fine considering change is, in a way, "fresh".
While practicing, I have not read the chords beforehand. And neither has the team leader provided a set for me to have a read. I guess it is just so, since it was impromptu. My playing was of course in accordance to how other people would normally play it using conventional chords. Team leader decided to stop and put blame onto guitarist for messy playing and making it sound "weird".
WOW. He decided to just stop the whole team practicing to point out that "I" was playing weird and that "I" made the whole team sound weird. Okay, sure. Maybe it is because I'm the ONLY musician there that he could start pissing me off embarassingly. Maybe it was because playing those chords would make the whole team sound weird because they were singing weird collectively in the first place. Weird? Yea ... perhaps it is me since I am the one who sticks out like a sore thumb. Yeah, sure. Go ahead and piss off the weird one. He's expandable anyway. Who needs a guitarist?
Status: Tension slightly built, but still on the excited side.
19th December:
Started off with work and pretty much worked till it was 1600 hrs. It was time for me to go next door for the Christmas gathering. Went there, training was still on. Okay, fair since the party was supposedly starting at 1630 hrs. I can wait. Party started, caroling done, all went kinda smooth.
Just a thought worth thinking about; did the people care when we played the carols with alternate arrangements? Honestly, I didn't see anyone give a bother over it. Chances are, they don't even know that it was on alternative chords.
BUT, that being said, all is done, all went "well", let it be.
Status: Normal. For some reason, the enthusiasm to go out has somewhat died down.
20th December:
My, my. I believe this is when the story gets interesting. 0005 hrs, I received a call from Grace Tan asking me to look out of my window. Saw her and the Choy sisters holding a cake with candles lit up. Wow, a surprise visit! Suddenly, I felt a little hyped up! Some people actually cared! Went out there, blew the candles and invited them in. The family's asleep, so we decided that it was best to keep noise level at a minimum. We adjourned into the kitchen and had the door closed. I was still in a state of shock mixed with happy and in that time, I guess the mood of the situation was good. The girls were laughing and cheering away while I was still stoning.
Suddenly, our cheerfulness mix stoning was cut off abruptly when the sister decided to storm in and distastefully told Ally off with regards to an sms conversation prior to the surprise visit. I am not sure and neither do I care who was at fault, I just believe it takes two hands to clap and if I am not one of the hands, the "telling off" could have waited for another time. After that untimely (stupidly untimely) incident, the mood of the party was of course disturbed. I was still stone but I was sober enough to know that the awkward situation required some saving.
The mood returned back to cheerfulness but you can't help but to notice that it wasn't as before. It's like a pool of stagnant water. All calm and unmoving. You could even see that the dust settled on the surface is not moving. Then suddenly, a stiring stick comes in and swirls it into a vortex. after the stick is taken out, the vortex slowly dies down and the water becomes calm again. Once again, the pool of water looks calm and unmoving. But, should a speck of dust fall to the surface again, you can see that it moves in the direction of the vortex due to slight under current.
The party ended and everyone returned to sleep. The same morning, I woke up to have chores greeted in front of my face. I still had to wash the cups, fill up the bottles of water and refill the standby jugs of water. The only difference is that the "sister's" dog is taken care of. Normally, that would be my duty as well. Ironic isn't it? How it is "her" dog but "I" have to care for it while she sleeps in until it is time for her to get ready for work. Yes, all of those, I have to do because some people care shit for responsibility.
Well, it was still bearable. It is, after all, my job regardless of whether it was my birthday. Chores will be chores and people oblivious to their phillial piety, dwelling in their own selfish nature will be as what I have labeled them to be. I was in the midst of planning what I should be doing and where I should go when all of a sudden, the mother required some chauferring. Wouldn't be that bad if It was at say 0800 hrs or 0900 hrs, but it had to be 1015 hrs and requires chaufering back from the place at 1100 hrs. Well then, looks like my plans for the day is done for. I agreed that I would stay home in the evening for the sister's dog while the rest of the family went to visit a cousin of mine. I will accept responsibility for that. In fact, I was willing to do it.
They were to leave at 1800hrs which meant that I would have to be back by 1700hrs. Assuming I wanted to go to One Utama, which would be the closest living shopping complex apart from Pyramid which I have more or less got bored of, I have to drive down and back which would take approximately an hour one way thanks to the weekend traffic. That meant that I would have to start driving back from One U at 1600 hrs. Now, lets say that after sending the mother home, I would take about an hour to get myself ready. 1115 hrs, I'm back, take an hour to wash up and prepare, 1215 hrs. Get myself out of the house, brace the traffic, reach One U at about 1315 hrs. That leaves me less than three hours to go around say, have lunch, look around the bookshops for interesting reads and whatnots. Come on! What can you possibly do with two hours and forty-five minutes? That's barely even enough time for me to browse through MPH to look for ONE good book!
So, what did I do? I spent my birthday miserably in front of the comp watching JDramas. Not like it's something I do not enjoy. I do. Just not on my birthday. I wanted to do something not routine. Something I would not do on any given weekend. To many (like the sister), visiting a shopping complex is not something they would consider as special. To me it was. Often have I turned down going out with friends just so that I would have a more prominent presence in the house as a son. Even then, I am labeled as "not home" since I stay in my room most of the time. Do I turn down tasks and chores when given or asked of me? I don't! Okay, sometimes, I do it with a sense of dissatisfactory, but nontheless, I still do it!
So, there goes my "EXCITING" birthday that I was planning not to plan and just have fun.
Status: Pissed, Pissed beyond being pissed, Pissed to the point where I do not know how feeling pissed is like.
21st December:
I was thinking yesterday, that maybe after church today, I could make up for lost time yesterday. I could still get myself over to a place with a big bookstore and browse through some interesting titles. So, I consoled myself.... BUT ... yesterday night, after coming back from the cousin's place, the father asked if I could stay home for the "sister's" dog again from 1500 - 1800 hrs.
...
......
.........
.......................................
Way to go on sensitivity. Looks like another day of ruined unplanned plans.
Morning greeted me with chores written all over. This time, the "sister's" dog is in my care again. Only difference is that he is fed already. Combing, giving him a treat and all is still my job. After stressing over chores, I decided to shower and get ready for church. After shower, the mother decided to ask a stupid question. After knowing that I would stay home for that damned "sister's" dog, she asked if I was going out today. WOW. Way to go at stating the obvious. What was I to answer? I was already up to my neck, supposedly trying to tame the tongue. I'm only human. We can only tolerate up to a certain level. I answered, "I can go out, meh?"
Talk about defensive instincts! The mother straightaway flared up and talked about things that have nothing to do with the conversation at all on how loyal and dutiful she is and even commenting on how I was not fit to lead bible study. Where's the link? I'm having trouble finding that out as well. I was so angry, I could not see myself to go to church in such a state. The mother continued her jabbering and pulled in the trick of ALL mothers stating the efforts of raising a 25 year old son is going down to waste. Then, the father decided that I was not in a position to vent out my frustrations because I was the young one. WOW. That was another hard blow on me. Did he mean that the youngest in the family will never be given the chance to voice out? Are we the ones who are doomed to only be in the receiving end of shit? Are we not human?
Status: Pissed with disappointment and failure to get my story accross since I was cut off while trying to explain.
I do not ask a lot. In fact, I try not to ask for anything. But why am I generalised and put in the same category as the sibling? I prefer to work with what I have. I was trained to be like that. I only ask for some sensitivity towards my side of the story.
I can accept it if people say they forgot what I told them despite countless reminders leading towards the date of request. But isn't it logical that perhaps people want some time to themselves on their "special" day and not be bogged down by chores? A ride to a place may seem like a simple request but the timing is what matters. The beauty of it is that since my car was the only one available, it left me no choice, didn't it? So, do not give the crap about getting the father to fetch you there was a possibility. Fact was that it was not possible. BUT ... frustrated as I was, I still did it, didn't I? Not with the best attitude any son can offer, but I still did it, didn't I?
Perhaps, next time when we ask something from someone, we should first think of the possible unseen obstacles to it. It just takes a little bit of sensitivity and a whole truckload of common sense. At the end of it all, I guess what I am trying to say is that:
Don't piss off the wrong person....
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
My room!
Well, it's been some time since renovation started and my room is finally up!
Here are some pictures.
My shelves filled with books, oh, so precious!
Wardrobe and extra shelves on top
This is still a WIP.
Planning to put up some paper graffiti when i have more time.
Here are some pictures.
First and foremost, My workstation!
My shelves filled with books, oh, so precious!
Wardrobe and extra shelves on top
An upclose look at one of my shelves containing my
Gundam Seed Destiny collection.
Gundam Seed Destiny collection.
Last but certainly the top in my list ...
MY FEATURE WALL!!!
This is still a WIP.Planning to put up some paper graffiti when i have more time.
More updates on the feature wall soon!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
WHOA!!!!
My room is almost ready! I will post some pictures once it's done!
Then, I'll start painting my feature wall... WHAHAHAHA!!!!
-Seki-
Then, I'll start painting my feature wall... WHAHAHAHA!!!!
-Seki-
Monday, September 22, 2008
0_0''' ... =_=''' ... ToT'''
So, it's been almost a month since I've come back and catching up with old friends seems never ending. Despite that part of my life, I've been searching for a job despite people telling me to take a break first (not my mom and dad though). Honestly, I'm not too in a hurry to start a career just yet, but what I am keen on is to get a job confirmed first before i start to enjoy whatever is left of my "unemployment" period.
It has been really tough to say the least because my house is in the midst of renovation and therefore, juggling between personal space, parents' demands, friends' catching up, renovation progress (since I am labeled as the 2nd Man of the house ... =_='''), and Symphonee's whims are quite a handful to handle. I must say that my ability to adjust back to Malaysia has been one of ease. Perhaps it may very well have been so since I considered myself never having left Malaysia for that matter. My stay in Tasmania, if you would like to put it, has been one for duty and future prospect purposes for home (Darn! I just get the feeling that this statement is a bit cocky ... no intentions okay? ^o^)
Just two weeks back from Tazzie, I've been back on active duty with the Boys' Brigade and church worship. It feels good to be serving, though there are times when I can't help feeling the coldness the church has grown into. It is sad but perhaps it is because of the limited space we have since the Subang side has shifted over to Pantai due to construction. I hope that this feeling is just temporary. Apart from that, the youth in Subang has grown weak due to the change and numbers are just dropping tremendously. Are we as a church not doing enough? What can we do?
In BB, there are times when I feel like an alien since my leaving of BB for nearly 2 years. The bond that we used to share amongst members and officers are not what it used to be anymore. Question towards the officers? Perhaps answerable. I'm very afraid of losing vision in the BB. But until then, I can only trust in God that BB2SJ is in good hands.
Stress appears everywhere. However, at the end of the day, it is not how stressed we are, but how we handle it.
-Seki-
It has been really tough to say the least because my house is in the midst of renovation and therefore, juggling between personal space, parents' demands, friends' catching up, renovation progress (since I am labeled as the 2nd Man of the house ... =_='''), and Symphonee's whims are quite a handful to handle. I must say that my ability to adjust back to Malaysia has been one of ease. Perhaps it may very well have been so since I considered myself never having left Malaysia for that matter. My stay in Tasmania, if you would like to put it, has been one for duty and future prospect purposes for home (Darn! I just get the feeling that this statement is a bit cocky ... no intentions okay? ^o^)
Just two weeks back from Tazzie, I've been back on active duty with the Boys' Brigade and church worship. It feels good to be serving, though there are times when I can't help feeling the coldness the church has grown into. It is sad but perhaps it is because of the limited space we have since the Subang side has shifted over to Pantai due to construction. I hope that this feeling is just temporary. Apart from that, the youth in Subang has grown weak due to the change and numbers are just dropping tremendously. Are we as a church not doing enough? What can we do?
In BB, there are times when I feel like an alien since my leaving of BB for nearly 2 years. The bond that we used to share amongst members and officers are not what it used to be anymore. Question towards the officers? Perhaps answerable. I'm very afraid of losing vision in the BB. But until then, I can only trust in God that BB2SJ is in good hands.
Stress appears everywhere. However, at the end of the day, it is not how stressed we are, but how we handle it.
-Seki-
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Back to BOLEH-land
So it has been some time since i last posted something but given the fact that i just arrived Malaysia less than a week ago, you can guess how busy I have been. There just too many mamak sessions to attend to! That being said, however, I finally have time to be sitting here at home in front of the Pentium 4 desktop of my home, which recently got upgraded to a 768 MB ram (whoa!!!). Well, honestly, like that ever mattered to me. But, hey, you can't complain as it still serves its purpose as a PC! At least it performs better than my Pentium Mobile, recently upgraded 2GB ram, which takes only FOREVER to load to the Windows screen.
Anyway, that lappy of mine is being fixed back at the Acer HQ. Just in case those of you who do not know what happened, both hinges of my lappy gave way and decided the weight of the monitor is too much a burden. It has been some time since I have written, literally, so instead of the picture heavy entries that I usually post, here is a written one (or typed, if you may)!
Life is good back in BOLEH-land and I must say that contrary to popular perception, I am not falling sick for the first two weeks back here. If you really must know, I think I was more sick in Tasmania during winter than I am back here. Sure, the air here is polluted but at least I do not get nose bleeds due to overly dry clean air during winter (or anytime except for summer). My driving skills have not gotten too bad, nor is it still any good. But I must say that I am still a little overwhelmed by the "courtesy" of the Malaysian drivers. I believe too much system in Tazzie can be bad for a Malaysian who will perhaps, spend eternity back here. The "aunty" drivers who can only afford their BIG-NAMED cars thanks to richer husbands, do not help in the situation any better. But that being said, BOLEH-land is still very much the way it was before I left the country.
Only difference was that some of the people I used to hang out with. Everyone seems taller and older. Most, though, are still the same.
Anyway, this is as far as I will go for today. I will blog more and this time it will be a mix of pictures and written posts. Till then, enjoy your day!
-Seki-
Anyway, that lappy of mine is being fixed back at the Acer HQ. Just in case those of you who do not know what happened, both hinges of my lappy gave way and decided the weight of the monitor is too much a burden. It has been some time since I have written, literally, so instead of the picture heavy entries that I usually post, here is a written one (or typed, if you may)!
Life is good back in BOLEH-land and I must say that contrary to popular perception, I am not falling sick for the first two weeks back here. If you really must know, I think I was more sick in Tasmania during winter than I am back here. Sure, the air here is polluted but at least I do not get nose bleeds due to overly dry clean air during winter (or anytime except for summer). My driving skills have not gotten too bad, nor is it still any good. But I must say that I am still a little overwhelmed by the "courtesy" of the Malaysian drivers. I believe too much system in Tazzie can be bad for a Malaysian who will perhaps, spend eternity back here. The "aunty" drivers who can only afford their BIG-NAMED cars thanks to richer husbands, do not help in the situation any better. But that being said, BOLEH-land is still very much the way it was before I left the country.
Only difference was that some of the people I used to hang out with. Everyone seems taller and older. Most, though, are still the same.
Anyway, this is as far as I will go for today. I will blog more and this time it will be a mix of pictures and written posts. Till then, enjoy your day!
-Seki-
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Out in the Streets
So, I managed to pass my assessment and although I was told that I could score (by professors and lecturers of the school), I didn't. I guess when it comes to art, preference is a very subjective matter. Perhaps the assessors are not intrigued by the same fascinations that I have with street art. *COUGH* ... conservative conformists ... *COUGH*. Oh, Don't mind me, I'm just coughing out loud.
Well, anyway, that being said, I've still passed ... disappointingly....
Below are the artworks I've displayed. The biggest piece of my work is not included in here as it involves multimedia projection onto the painting. I'm still figuring a way to put it here. But, until then, here are the pictures:
Read my Mind ... I left it Behind
This artwork tells a story of leaving
thoughts that traumatizes a person behind.
It is never fully left behind because the imprints
of the thoughts will never fade away.
Cool Idiocy
Need I say more?
Cool Idiocy (part 2)
Trails
Where does a skater seek opportunity?
But then again, does it really matter anymore?
This set of works are a process of self-realization for me. There certain things that we love to do at one point in our lives but because of an unfateful (or fateful) incident, we may wake up one day not being able to do it anymore. So, cherish the ability with each passing day and be content. There will come a time when we just won't be able to do it anymore.
Well, anyway, that being said, I've still passed ... disappointingly....
Below are the artworks I've displayed. The biggest piece of my work is not included in here as it involves multimedia projection onto the painting. I'm still figuring a way to put it here. But, until then, here are the pictures:
The Artist Statement
The artist statement serves as the main idea
or story that the artist is trying to bring out
to the public. While most people prefer
to print it on paper and stick it onto the wall,
I've decided to paint it ONTO the wall ...
... and it continues down to the floor as well.
The artist statement serves as the main idea
or story that the artist is trying to bring out
to the public. While most people prefer
to print it on paper and stick it onto the wall,
I've decided to paint it ONTO the wall ...
... and it continues down to the floor as well.
Read my Mind ... I left it Behind
This artwork tells a story of leaving
thoughts that traumatizes a person behind.
It is never fully left behind because the imprints
of the thoughts will never fade away.
Cool Idiocy
Need I say more?
Cool Idiocy (part 2)
Trails
Where does a skater seek opportunity?
But then again, does it really matter anymore?
This set of works are a process of self-realization for me. There certain things that we love to do at one point in our lives but because of an unfateful (or fateful) incident, we may wake up one day not being able to do it anymore. So, cherish the ability with each passing day and be content. There will come a time when we just won't be able to do it anymore.
Monday, July 14, 2008
It is good to observe ...
... because there are times
when someone thinks you do not know
that he/she has many masks....
when someone thinks you do not know
that he/she has many masks....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I want ...
... to learn and play it well....
I suddenly feel motivated again.
I've always loved the cello. Something to do with the beautiful bass sounds it creates.
I've always loved the cello. Something to do with the beautiful bass sounds it creates.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Happy Birthday!
So, yesterday was mom's birthday. We had a chit-chat on the phone and mom being mom, asked about myself more than the actual reason for my calling to wish her birthday greeting. I guess that's where a mother's love never fail to put her loved ones ahead of her. Thanks, mom.
So happens, it was also Bernice's birthday, but since her boyfriend took the trouble to fly down from Adelaide to meet her for this reason, we decided to allow them their time for romance. Jonathan, the organizer, decided to hold her party one day after. It's a real pity that Bernice's boyfriend, Kenny couldn't join us for the party although I think he would very much love to.
Well, anyway, the party was a good time to catch up with Jonathan, Sarah, Bernice and Er Li (the Monash 5s) since it's been sometime I had met up with them. Everyone's really stressed up over the semester.
I decided to buy a plain shirt and personalize it for her....
It's winter, so long sleeves will do well, and besides,
it's not too hot to wear during summer as well.
I painted a cello for her since she is a cellist.
I think I'm gonna pick up cello or violin when I have the time ...
HOPEFULLY!
The princess of the day and the artist.
I'm posing with the product, not the person ... HAHAHA!!! =p
Just kidding. =)
So happens, it was also Bernice's birthday, but since her boyfriend took the trouble to fly down from Adelaide to meet her for this reason, we decided to allow them their time for romance. Jonathan, the organizer, decided to hold her party one day after. It's a real pity that Bernice's boyfriend, Kenny couldn't join us for the party although I think he would very much love to.
Well, anyway, the party was a good time to catch up with Jonathan, Sarah, Bernice and Er Li (the Monash 5s) since it's been sometime I had met up with them. Everyone's really stressed up over the semester.
I decided to buy a plain shirt and personalize it for her....
It's winter, so long sleeves will do well, and besides,
it's not too hot to wear during summer as well.
I painted a cello for her since she is a cellist.
I think I'm gonna pick up cello or violin when I have the time ...
HOPEFULLY!
The princess of the day and the artist.
I'm posing with the product, not the person ... HAHAHA!!! =p
Just kidding. =)
Well, Bernice, have a nice one and I hope you enjoyed the fellowship and the efforts your friends painstakingly sacrificed for the success of this party.
Happy Birthday, Bernice!
Happy Birthday, Bernice!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Hishoku no Sora (Scarlet Sky)
I watched the anime series titled 'Shakugan no Shana', and I'm not sure why, but everytime I hear the opening theme song play, I'm filled with emotions that make me want to cry. It's not like I understood what was sung. And to be honest, I've had a few times where my eyes did well up with tears. So after watching the whole two seasons which were released, I decided to do a little research on the song lyrics translation. Then, I understood why I cried....
Lyrics ： Kawada Mami
Music & Arrangement ： Nakazawa Tomoyuki
Vocals ： Kawada Mami (I've)
Japanese phonetics:
Soshite kono sora akaku somete mata kuru toki kono mi de susumu dake
Surechigatte iku ‘hito’ mo magirenakushita ‘MONO’ mo
Itsuka wa kieyuku toki
Atsuku yurugasu ‘tsuyosa’ hakanaku yureru ‘yowasa’
Shosen onaji mirai
Sonna nichijou kouka wo tokashi arawareru hi kureru sekai
Kaze ni nabikase sen wo hiite nagareru you na kamisaki teki wo sasu
Yurikitta omoi minagiru yume
Subete wa ima kono te de shimei hatashiteyuku dake
Mata hi ga hitotsu otosare sotto dokoka de kieta
Genjitsu kawaranu hibi
Dakedo tashikani kanjiru kimi no nukumori kodou
Kore mo shinjitsu da to
Soshite kurenai koujin wo maki yuuhi wo sei ni ima hajimaru saa
Naze takanaru kokoro ni mayoi tomadoi kanjiru no
Hayaku itazura ni abaredasu itami kowashite
Sora ni nijinda yaketa kumo wa uchi ni himeta negai ga kogashiteru
Tameratta hitomi ukabu namida demo ashita no chikara ni kaete
Subete sasagete mai orita chi saeru yaiba hitotsu de yami wo kiru
Itsu datte mune wo oku no hikari mabatakasete
Kono mi de shimei hatashiteyuku dake
English Translation:
And therefore, dye this sky red. The time has come again for my body to only go forward
Even the ‘people’ who pass by and the ‘THINGS’ which become lost in confusion
Will one day be like vanished memories
A passionate unwavering ‘strength’, a fleeting swaying ‘weakness’
They meet the same end after all
Such ordinary days melt the mundane world. The sun appears above the crimson world
Flutter in the wind and draw back the lines. Like the flowing tips of the hair, pierce the enemy
The feelings which were slashed, the swelling dream
Now, I will only carry all of my duties in my hands until the end
Once again, another light has fallen, it has quietly disappeared to somewhere
It’s the reality which doesn’t change day after day
However, I definitely feel it, your warmth, your heartbeat
This can also be called the truth
And therefore, it becomes crimson, scattering the mundane world. It’s now starting in the background of the evening sun
Why do I feel hesitation and confusion in my rapidly throbbing heart?
Hurry, destroy this pain which explodes in useless rage
The stained and scorched clouds in the sky burn the wishes concealed within
Tears welled up in my hesitant eyes, but change them into strength tomorrow
Offer up everything to the land where I have descended. With my single bright blade, I shall decapitate the darkness
The light deep within my heart will always sparkle
I will only carry out my duties until the end
It is a beautiful story and it is complimented with a beautiful opening theme song. Perhaps it was the way Kawada Mami sang it with feelings. Surprisingly, the song is upbeat but with quite a sad but energetic melody. Some sort of like a need to fulfill an honourable task and therefore requires sacrifice. Mind you that at this time, I still did not know what the song meant. Kawada seemed to have captured my attention to her singing. She was like communicating with me via tunes and managed to reach out to my senses. Without a doubt, I cried real hard after finding out the meaning of this song.
Anyway, I'd recommend anyone who is interested in anime to give this series a go. Apparently, there is a third season to which I am still waiting for it to be released. I will not spoil the story for you. Just watch it for yourself and besides, my main objective in this entry is the song and how it captured me.
You may say that I am an emo person and I'd agree to a certain extent. I do not feel a need to justify myself since this is a part of me. But one thing I have to put through is that I trust my senses and when I feel the way I do, it is probably the most honest feeling that is in me.
Ps:- I did not post my artworks up yet. I decided to put it up only when I have received my assessment results. So, it'll be up soon enough.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Sick!!!!!
Why didn't i take that jab before I came here? =_='''
The virus is a very itchy one
The virus is a very itchy one
After living nearly a quarter of a century of my life, I caught that stupid virus. Why do people "catch" a virus or an illness for that matter? Shouldn't we actually be running away from it? Hmmm....
Well, there is a bright side to this incident:
- I now have an immunity to it
- I get to say that I had it in Tasmania while most of my friends had it back home
Hmmm ... somehow, the second excuse feels like it's not something to be proud of.
ps:- For those of you who still can't figure out what virus I caught (even through the obvious picture above),I'd like to start by calling you blind or stupid I caught the pox related to poultry and if you have had it before, you can visit me if you like. Otherwise, stay far away from me because it is contagious.
Well, there is a bright side to this incident:
- I now have an immunity to it
- I get to say that I had it in Tasmania while most of my friends had it back home
Hmmm ... somehow, the second excuse feels like it's not something to be proud of.
ps:- For those of you who still can't figure out what virus I caught (even through the obvious picture above),
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Sekob in aTerminator Armour
Fans of Warhammer 40k will relate to this entry....
Sekob in the armour....
Sekob in the armour....
Terminator Honours and Power Fist....
Standard Storm Bolter....
Another view....
It's paper construction if you may have noticed. It's too much a challenge to sew it up using felt.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Eves' Night 2008 Gifts
I think it is somehow expected that nowadays, I'm like the tool for gift ideas.... Honestly, I feel that it's not necessarily a good thing.
Anyway, that being said, here are the stuff I made for the Eves on Eves' Night of 2008....
They are about the size of a 50 cents Aussie coin
Some black ones.
When you put them together for contrast....
Just more play on contrast....
A little limited edition red.
Whoever got them should feel happier.
Only two were passed out that night.
My three favourite colours;
Well, white is supposed to be silver and there are no silver felt.
Trying to create the "m&m" effect with only 3 colours.
I wonder if anyone actually sees the significance of these little miniature blobs....
But then again, who actually cares but the artist or crafter himself?
*Sigh*, I won't bother you with my ramblings anymore for now.
Enjoy what you see!
Anyway, that being said, here are the stuff I made for the Eves on Eves' Night of 2008....
They are about the size of a 50 cents Aussie coin
Some black ones.
When you put them together for contrast....
Just more play on contrast....
A little limited edition red.
Whoever got them should feel happier.
Only two were passed out that night.
My three favourite colours;
Well, white is supposed to be silver and there are no silver felt.
Trying to create the "m&m" effect with only 3 colours.
I wonder if anyone actually sees the significance of these little miniature blobs....
But then again, who actually cares but the artist or crafter himself?
*Sigh*, I won't bother you with my ramblings anymore for now.
Enjoy what you see!
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